


Your PowerPoints Mean Nothing, Rogers

by ajay_lotte



Series: The Yellow Car Initiative [15]
Category: Daredevil (Comics), Daredevil (TV), Spider-Man - All Media Types, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Arguing, Attempt at Humor, But not in Matt's opinion, Chaos, Clint Barton & Matt Murdock Friendship, Competition, Foggy Nelson Is a Good Bro, Foggy Nelson Is a Little Shit, Gen, Human Disaster Matt Murdock, Kinda, Peter Parker is a Little Shit, PowerPoint, Social Media, Team Dynamics, Team as Family, debriefing, meetings, yellow car game
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-18
Updated: 2021-01-18
Packaged: 2021-03-16 15:34:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,453
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28833492
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ajay_lotte/pseuds/ajay_lotte
Summary: In which the Avengers attend Captain America's mandatory post-battle debrief, Peter very happily takes over, and Daredevil is the scariest Avenger.
Relationships: Matt Murdock & Avengers Team, Matt Murdock & Franklin "Foggy" Nelson & Karen Page, Matt Murdock & Peter Parker
Series: The Yellow Car Initiative [15]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1883668
Comments: 20
Kudos: 218





	Your PowerPoints Mean Nothing, Rogers

**Author's Note:**

> So, I planned to write a Mahoney fic but this happened... but we vibe  
> Marvel owns all these characters and stuff, this is just a fanfiction for my own amusement because I suck, I'm bored, and think the Internet would have a lot to say about the Avengers  
> Warnings: possibly swearing, idk?

The Avengers have just come back from a mission. Quite a big mission, one needing help from an outside source- aka Daredevil- and they are holding their mandatory post battle team meeting. “Sit back down, Daredevil.” Steve says, stopping him from backflipping out of the fifteenth story window for the third time.

Today they’re not at the facility unit upstate due to a lab accident. Which was explicitly not Tony’s fault. So they are back at the old Avengers tower in Midtown Manhattan, which Tony manage to have redone without most of them having known. Clint, Natasha, and Red stood smugly at the back of the group when everyone else was shocked by the reveal.

With a heated head tilt in Steve’s direction, Daredevil sits back down, clenching his jaw. “This was a big mission, and with no major casualties. I think that deserves celebration.” Great. Red stands up again. “But first, we need to look over our performance and cover our areas of weaknesses. Sit back down, Daredevil.” Red ignores him and walks over to help himself to some squash. He drinks a sip before returning to the group.

“As much as we love these team meetings,” Tony says, “I think it’s safe to say they keep getting longer Capsicle. Can’t we just… have a drink? Bucky’s told us the stories of you all planning to defeat the Nazis drunk at a bar.”

“I couldn’t get drunk,” Steve counters, “still can’t.”

“If three people here can’t get drunk, why can’t we have at least one drink per meeting?” Nat asks. “We may as well turn this into a social event.” Red definitely misses being drunk. Life would be a lot easier if he was at least tipsy right now.

“Daredevil, please stop trying to escape through the window.” The devil growls, baring his teeth.

“Your PowerPoints mean nothing, Rogers.” His voice comes out deeper than normal. “I don’t see the point in me staying to watch them.” Clint bites back a laugh, and Matt’s pleased to have entertained his singular audience.

“Do you all hate these meetings so much?” Steve asks, and for a second Daredevil almost feels guilty. But he’s not an Avenger anyways. He has no obligation to be here- he’s being kept against his will. Actually, he kind of does have an obligation. Coulson noticed he’d been skipping the last few meetings. He said it was good for mental health or something. Red figures his mental health would be better drinking with Foggy at Josie’s.

“I have something that might spice it up a bit.” Peter perks up happily, and honestly Red forgot the kid was even here. “I was going to wait until one weekend when you were all complaining about being bored, but…”

“Kid, what have you got?” Tony asks, and although Matt can’t sense it, he knows the kid’s beaming.

“A PowerPoint.” Red groans. “No, Double D, it’s not like Steve’s.”

“Hey.”

“Cap; sit down. Kid, you’re in charge.” Peter jumps from his seat and runs to the front of the room, giving Captain America a sheepish smile on the way over. The man just ruffles his hair.

“Ok, so to wrap up Steve’s meeting, we all did great. Yay. Sam, you need to do better.”

Sam’s reaction is the optimum of offended. “What did I even do? I was just as good as all of you.”

Peter stares him down. “You forgot to bring any juice boxes.” Tony snorts, Bucky laughs, and the others all try to hide their amusement from the betrayed eyes of the Falcon. “A special thanks to Double D, who Steve is keeping here semi-illegally, for helping us on the mission, and another special thanks to Miss Romanoff, who was totally awesome in retrieving all the information we needed for the mission. Ok, we’re done. Now watch this place.” Peter gestures to the screen and goes around to the back of the laptop to plug in his memory stick.

“Oh my god.” Nat sighs. Red holds back a ‘blaspheme’.

“The Avengers according to Reddit.” Peter says, and Red can actually hear the grin in his voice. “Though, I have also been scrolling through other polls like on Tumblr, and that fancy one beginning with Q where people ask questions and stuff. Not the point.”

“Queens, are you good this is a good idea?” Steve asks, and Bucky snorts.

“Yes, let him continue.” Bucky says with a smirk and puts a hand on Steve to stop the soldier from getting up.

Peter clicks onto the next slide. “Noobmaster69 asked ‘Does anyone know who is actually on the Avengers team anymore? Because I’ve been playing some Lord of Thunder who calls himself Thor, but I find it highly unlikely a Norse God would be wasting their time playing video games.”

Thor stands from his seat. “Man of Spiders, you chose this on purpose!” Red swears Thor intentionally makes his voice louder throughout every sentence he says. Peter cowers back a little as Bruce stands to put a hand on Thor’s shoulder and get him to sit down. “I never should have trusted you.” Bruce just pats him on the back and mouths to Peter to continue.

“There were several replies to this question,” Peter clicks a button, “where of course the original six are listed. Well done guys- you made the team, and people know that you’re on it. What is more interesting is the results I found regarding the others. First, I’d like to ask you, Mr Rogers, the first Avenger, who you consider to be on the team.”

“Well,” Steve leans back in his seat, happy to be answering the question. Nerd. “Nat, Clint, Tony, Rhodes, Bruce, Thor… me, Sam, Buck, Scott, you, Daredevil, T’Challa, Wanda, Vision, Captain Marvel,” wait, hold up, “Valkyrie- as an honorary Avenger, along with Loki when he’s helping Thor or Daredevil and not killing people, then SHIELD’s Fury, Coulson, and Hill… also Dr Strange, and Hope Pym when she helps.”

“I’m not an Avenger.” Daredevil growls, earning satisfaction with Steve’s rocketing heart.

“We will get to that, Double D. But first I’d like to tell Steve according to the internet he is wrong. Captain Marvel, although on Director Fury’s speed dial, works to intergalactically to have a job as an Avenger.”

“That’s fair,” Nat comments, “are the guardians Avengers?”

“Yes!” Peter exclaims happily. “Spookyboi_666 replied as part of the strand to Noobmaster69 arguing that they were, and as an Avenger myself I have to agree. He says not only have the Guardians saved the universe alongside the Avengers, they have saved the galaxy multiple times before even coming to earth.”

“Not true.” Matt mutters, and Peter takes a second to eye the man.

“They haven’t saved the galaxy?” Thor asks, and Red takes a guess that he sounds almost pleased. “I knew there was something fishy about that Star Lord character.”

Red turns to face Thor, and Peter guesses he’s trying his best at a glare. It’s effective by the look of fear on Thor’s face. “I meant most have come here before saving the galaxy.”

“I’m still better looking.” Thor grumbles, and leans back in his seat, ready for Peter to continue.

“And that their connections with Thor and Daredevil outside of anything Infinity War related are too strong to not be considered Avenger at this point.”

“I don’t have connections with the guardians. I’ve only met them at that conference and once more.”

“Liar.” Nat says.

“Dude you literally have their personal numbers.” Red thought Clint was a better friend than that.

“Ugh.” Red stands to go and get his drink again. “I’m not even an Avenger. My connections to them don’t matter. Stark, do you have anything I can spike this with?”

“You’ve come to the right place.” Tony retrieves a brandy bottle from the cabinet. “It’s not my favourite, but it’s just been Christmas.” Red thanks him and pours some into his orange squash. He stirs it as Peter continues to talk, making a drink for Tony as well.

“Double D, I actually spent a lot of time researching your relation to the Avengers. And while people are acknowledging there has been no formal announcement of your being an Avenger, that is a similar case to everyone else and they refuse to believe you’re not one.”

“Have I ever told you how much I hate you?”

“And on a separate thread asking if Daredevil is an Avenger, bribery.avocado provides a convincing argument that the Devil is an Avenger.” Matt’s going to kill Foggy. “Captain Rogers, although you may have forgiven Loki, Reddit hasn’t, and they have clearly expresssed that he is not an Avenger. Some evidence being ‘Loki is not an Avenger’, ‘Fuck that shit’, and ‘Dude, Loki destroyed New York, are you alright?’… although the majority of Tumblr find him hot, I particularly enjoyed the reply to that comment, ‘the Avengers destroy New York all the time, and that god of a man destroying me, I would certainly consider heroic’.”

Tony chokes. Steve looks at Bucky for help. Bucky just smirks back.

Red remembers sitting with Wade whilst he typed that reply out. He thinks it best not to ever tell Peter that he quoted Wade. Red also remembers profusely rubbing it in the man’s face that he has, indeed, had sex with the demigod. Red was also concussed. 

Peter continues: “Everything else you said is accurate with the addition of Happy to the honorary Avengers list with the amount of work he does for Mr Stark.”

“Peter, you’ve effectively just told the Avengers who the Avengers are. There must be more to this? For my reputation, there has to be more to this.” Nat says, and by the way Peter’s heart reacts, Red knows there is Much more.

“Yep! That’s just the intro to my data filled, evidence supported, quiz which is definitely a competition worth winning. So let’s start easy- who is the most patriarchal Avenger?

“Cap.” Everyone says, without a doubt, except Matt and Nat due to a combination of drinking and scepticism. Peter’s pleased with the answer… so they’re wrong.

“It’s not cap.” Red says, earning the Avengers’ attention. Nat hums.

“Rhodes. There’s no avoiding the Iron Patriot memes.”

“Correct!” Peter brings up some of the best memes onto the page. Tony snorts.

“That was your favourite phase, wasn’t it Rhodey?” Tony asks, quirking his brow at his best friend. “Because Iron Patriot totally rocks. With an X.”

“Don’t push it… Stank.”

Panicked Peter moves on with the slide. “The most childish Avenger.”

“Clint.” There’s no hesitation. Peter happily brings up a picture of Clint eating pizza whilst in a dumpster. Nat looks at Clint with evaluating eyebrows, ignoring the laughter coming from everyone else.

“Hey! I’ll have you know that pizza was delicious, and totally worth it, and that I was not in that dumpster alone.” Red’s caught on.

“Nope! And your friendly neighbourhood Spider Man did manage to get a better photo.” He clicks the button, and there it is, from an angle looking down into the dumpster of Hawkeye and Daredevil, sat opposite each other in the dumpster, happily eating pizza.

“Oh. My. God.” Tony says. “Clint, you’ve been friends with the Devil this whole time and refused to recruit him.”

“That’s your worry?!” Rhodes looks at Tony like he’s lost his mind. “The Devil is in a dumpster!”

“And you haven’t been in a dumpster?” Nat asks, raising an eyebrow at Rhodes.

“You have too? Wow. I was not seeing that coming.” Rhodes looks around the group to notice nobody making eye contact. “Ok, show of hands. Who here hasn’t been in a dumpster?” Sam starts to raise his but Scott leans across and lowers it, shaking his head slightly at the falcon. “Friday, please recall this incident when I can rub it in people’s face that I am the only Avenger who hasn’t been in a dumpster.”

“Of course, Mr Rhodes.”

“No, Friday; don’t do that.” Tony says. “Peter, carry on before Rhodes embarrasses us even further.”

“Ok, who does the internet think to be the world’s stupidest Avenger?” Peter’s smug. Red can tell. “Nobody?” Peter asks and looks around the group. Even Red can’t guess the answer to this one, because everyone here is smart. “Captain America.” There’s a shocked silence, and then Bucky laughs.

“Hey!” Steve exclaims.

“Sorry Cap, but the internet has decided. Everyone else are either geniuses or spies, and then you have to remember that a lot of the internet are teens who want revenge on you for all of those educational videos.” Sam gives him a solitary pat on the shoulder.

“It’ll be ok, Buddy.”

Peter’s phone vibrates in his jacket pocket. Red thinks it’s weird, the denim sounds against Spandex as Peter moves. “Oh, I’ve not got long. Aunt May’s invited guests for dinner. Ok, let’s speed this up.” He clicks the next slide. “Actually, I don’t need this.” He shuts the laptop lid.

“Come on, Spidey. You can’t keep us waiting now.” Scott complains.

“So, let’s address this in terms of rating. Tony, the internet considers you still the most attractive Avenger, although, Miss Romanoff you were a close second. The funniest Avenger goes to Thor, which has stayed the same since the polls ever started.”

“I win! You mortals can bow down to me!” Thor booms, and Red holds back a flinch. “Sorry, carry on young Spiderling.”

“Sorry to disappoint, but Bucky, you’ve lost your title as the scariest Avenger.” Nat smirks. “Miss Romanoff, you haven’t reclaimed it either.”

“Wait- this was already a competition?” Scott asks, and Peter nods.

“They caught me researching all of this a while ago, and they wanted to know about being the scariest Avenger. So, the competition’s been alive for a while. But we weren’t including Double D as an Avenger.”

“I’m not an Avenger.”

“Chill, Hornhead. It just means I don’t have to pay you as much to save the planet the longer you say that.”

“You’re paying me?” Red growls.

Tony definitely doesn’t squeak. “No.”

“Ok. I can see why.” Clint says from next to Red. Red’s about to growl at the man, until he remembers their competition, and instead tries to suppress a smile. He knows Nat’s noticed- her posture moves, and her heart rate has raised slightly.

“Doctor Banner, you lost your ranking as the smartest Avenger. That now goes to Mr Stark.”

Tony, shocked, clears his throat. “There was a point when I wasn’t the smartest Avenger?” He asks, and Peter takes a step back, and like the genius, he definitely doesn’t squeak ‘no’. But even if he did, and that’s a very ambiguous ‘if’, he gets interrupted by his phone ringing.

“Hi Aunt May.”

“Peter, I thought I told you to hurry home.”

“Aunt May, who have you actually invited?”

“Nelson, Murdock, and Page, dear. Foggy suggested…” Foggy suggested what? Much to Red’s annoyance, he doesn’t get to find out.

“Sorry to interrupt Aunt May, but I’m currently with the Avengers. I’ll finish the meeting and swing home after?”

“Oh! I didn’t realise. Swing past Hell’s Kitchen, won’t you?”

“Of course Aunt May.”

“Love you Peter.”

Peter looks at his audience, automatically embarrassed, but then he remembers who he’s in front of. “Love you.” He says and hangs up the phone. What he hadn’t noticed, during his conversation with Aunt May, is the outburst of arguments between the Avengers. It doesn’t take a long examination of the scene to tell Tony, Bruce, and Vision are arguing about being the smartest. Bucky and Nat are arguing about being the scariest whilst Steve and Clint respectively are trying to get their friends to back down. Sam is filming the whole thing whilst laughing, and tormenting Steve about being the stupidest Avenger, earning himself evil glares from said super soldier. The arguing with them has resulted in arguments between Wanda, T’Challa and Thor, where the Norse Demi-God is trying to convince the others that he can be just as serious as them, and Scott is trying to prove himself to be funnier than Thor.

“Uh, guys?” Peter asks, and tries again slightly louder, still not getting anybody’s attention. Apart from the Devil’s. He’s stood on the windowsill, gesturing at Peter. The teen sneaks around the edge of the room, trying not to alert anybody’s attention, and just as he gets to the window, Steve notices.

“Daredevil!” He leaps, without hesitation, swinging his billy clubs out in front of him. “Queens, don’t you dare.”

“Sorry Cap, but dinner calls.” Peter salutes him, and like Daredevil, swings out of the window, following the red clad hero back into Hell’s Kitchen. “Double D, wait up!” He doesn’t wait up. Peter groans with the effort it takes to keep up with the Devil all the way back to his flat. “Hey. I didn’t know you were coming to tea either!” Daredevil doesn’t answer that, just goes into his room, pulling off his helmet as he walks. He throws Peter out a pair of clothes to change into, and revels in the fact they’re at the point in their friendship to keep clothes at each other’s houses.

Matt Murdock comes out of the room dressed in his famously comfy black jeans and a black shirt. He ignores Peter completely to go into the bathroom and comes out with clean hair and freshly shaved. He gives Peter a clean towel. “Shower.” Peter doesn’t dare disobey.

Matt waits until the water’s running before taking out his phone and calling Foggy. He answers on the second ring. “Hey, Matty.” Well, that’s sheepish if Matt’s never heard it. “What’s up?”

“When were you going to tell me about dinner at Aunt May’s?”

Foggy’s quiet for a minute. Matt can wait. “In about half an hour.”

“So I didn’t have time to cancel?” Matt quizzes, and Foggy gets all defensive. “It’s ok, Fogs. I don’t have any food in anyways so it couldn’t have been better arranged. I’m more worried about whatever idea you’ve suggested.”

“Oh! Well, for that my dear friend ol’ buddy ol’ pal, you’ll have to wait until we get there.”

“Peter’s with me at my apartment. Any chance you and Karen could pick us up?”

“Sure thing Buddy- we’ll be there in twenty.” True to his word, they arrive twenty minutes later, Karen having shot gun the passenger seat of Marci’s car, leaving Matt and Peter in the back. “I’m getting déjà vu vibes.” Foggy says. “Yellow car game anyone?” Foggy’s greeted with a cold silence. “You’re all still mad at me, huh.”

“Miss Karen, why are you mad at Mr Nelson?” Peter asks, and Karen grumbles something. Matt snorts with laughter. “Sorry, I didn’t hear you.”

“That’s ok, Peter.” Karen says, clearly this time, and Matt only laughs harder throwing his head back. “Oh, shut up Matt.” But she’s kind of smiling now. Foggy however, has turned the shade of a tomato.

“Red!” Peter whines.

“Foggy interrupted Karen and Claire.” Karen didn’t think it was possible, but Foggy turns redder, and Peter gets all flustered. Matt just laughs like the devil it is. “Karen you have to learn to leave the tie on the door.”

“I don’t wear ties, Matt, and we own our own flat. I wasn’t expecting Foggy to open the door.”

“I did shout ‘hello’ first.” He argues.

“I’ve changed my mind. Can we play the yellow car game now?” Peter asks, averting the conversation.

Matt wins.

They don’t hear the end of it. Even when Peter lets them into the house. “Peter! Where have you… never mind, hello Matt, Foggy, Karen. Peter, could you set the table?”

“Yep! Aunt May, you’ll never guess what?” Matt hangs his cane up on a peg, and takes Foggy’s elbow, following Peter and Aunt May into the house. “I got to lead the debriefing meeting today!”

“Peter, that’s great! Did you get to use that presentation you’ve been working hard on?”

“Some of it.”

That reminds Matt of something. “Foggy, Peter bought up some fascinating points at the meeting.”

“I thought you hated those meetings. I’m raising an eyebrow at you, because I was certain you came away from them with less braincells than when you started.” Karen laughs. Matt cocks his head in her direction, silencing her easily.

“Know anyone going by the name ‘bribery.avocado’, Mr Nelson?”

“I plead the fifth. Aunt May, that smells delicious. Need any help with anything?” Foggy swiftly leaves the conversation, ignoring the murderous aura surrounding Matt. Soon, they’re all sat around the table, eating happily, until Aunt May begins speaking.

“So, Foggy, tell me more about this holiday you have planned.”

Matt, Karen, and Peter all drop their cutlery.

“Foggy!”


End file.
